ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
deviantart? what?
It's been so long! I'm going to get writing tomorrow and hopefully be more active again. I have lost a number of watchers but I can't really blame them... Oh well.
novel and things
I'm writing a novel since last week. I have around 6K words now. I'm trying to do 1K a day and it has been so far successful. I haven't missed a day yet. It is the reason I haven't been writing anything for dA like short stories or poems. But I have an idea for a short story which I may write at the weekend or some day next week.
I'm currently reading Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk which is very disturbing. Here is one of the short stories from the book which is probably my favourite: http://www.seizureandy.com/stuff/guts.html Be warned, it's highly disturbing and contains mature themes. As it says on the front cover of the book: read it at your
give me inspiration
I am not able to do anything. I'll write when I can. Uh, go join this group http://lonelypumpkin.deviantart.com/
Comment below with links to your poems/prose or other people's poems/prose because I need to be inspired and I want to read. There's no guarantee I will comment or fave, though.
..
.
Families can detonate. Some families are torn apart forever by one small act, one solitary mistake. A marital indiscretion, someone doing drugs, a father fucking a kid up the arse in the bathroom. Living in my family it was a series of small explosions; consistent, passionate, pathetic. Cruel words, crude threats.
- Christos Tsiolkas.
..
.
stressed. love.
I feel really stressed out over everything lately. I can't relax, I just keep worrying. I haven't slept properly in about two weeks and I want to end. My concentration has been really low all month and I can't read much which is making me more stressed. I get stressed if I don't read which is annoying. On top of all that, I can't write anything save for romance which is becoming very tedious. I'm so low.
I might just read The Lover's Dictionary and listen to Ed Sheeran until I fall asleep. I can't cope with being awake and aware for much longer. ._.
Or, I might just write my own lover's dictionary. I like that idea.
breathing, n.
You had
© 2012 - 2024 cardinal-hearts
Comments9
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Who was the last girl you walked with, just you two? Huh? My friend...like ages ago it feels like lol Ok, maybe a month ago. I miss getting walked to class and protected in case I get raped D:
What are you listening to right now? "Take it all Away" by Red
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? I barely ever talk on the phone...I can't remember the last time exactly, but then again my memory is terrible.
Are you happy right now? Happy as can be, albeit stressed.
Is your phone right beside you? In front.
First thing you do when you wake up? Check to see if...Ange is online if I have time
Last movie you watched? I don't remember the exact last one, but I do remember watching "The one that Flew over the Cuckoos Nest" or something with a title like that about some people in an insane asylum...a very good movie, all time classic.
Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep? Waiting until I feel like I am dead, then pass out from exhaustion. How fun!
Can you speak any other language than English? German and a wee bit of many other languages.
Do you believe what comes around goes around? Yeah. You will get what you deserve sooner or later in your life in some way, shape, or form.
What's your favorite number? 3 too!
To whom did you last give the finger? Depending on which finger...Ange <.< >.>;
Where did you last wear sunglasses? Sunglasses? What sort of witchcraft is this?! (Actually as someone that wears glasses and has bad vision, I generally can't wear sunglasses...well I can if I am wearing my contacts but I rarely wear them and I don't even own a pair of sunglasses anyway) XD
What animal did you last pet or hold? A baby chick and they are soooo cute...is it weird that my brother has chickens?
What's the last newspaper you read or skimmed? I skim one about a few times a week.
Who was the last person to make you really laugh? I am too tired to remember properly, probably Ange.
Is anything bugging you right now? School. @.@
What are you doing after this? Same thing I do while doing this XD
Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow? Maybe depending on when I sleep.
Who is your last facebook inbox from? Mary. And the message reads: ">.>" XD
What does your hair look like right now? Like a tornado went through it lol
When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? >.>;
Is there someone that makes you happy every time you speak with them? Mhm. Beyond happy.
Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? Yeah, most of my friends happen to be girls. I better identify with them and they are tons more fun XD
Last time you had a coca-cola? Like..maybe...a year ago or so?
Do you straighten your hair? No. I am au natural.
How many pairs of shoes do you own? 4-5.
Name someone who's jealous of you? I don't know. I can't read minds...or can I? Plus, there is a difference between jealously and envy.
Name something you want? Uhhh, can't think of anything in particular...oh a bow. I would like a bow. A recurve bow.
How long do you have until your birthday? 2 months.
Have you ever shouted at random people from inside a moving car? Yes actually. Reminds me of drive-by high fives XD
Who are you expecting a phone call tonight from? Debt collectors with the wrong number XD
Will tomorrow be better than today? Who knows. It probably will if I get some sleep @.@
Believe in love at first sight? Not really. Love is something that takes time to develop and grow strong.
Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? Much worse, and I am not even talking bf/gf wise XD
How long does it take you to fall asleep? Depends on how close my body is to automatic shutdown.
Have you ever fallen asleep waiting for a text? Actually, I have. I was texting with my friend something important...and I just fell asleep while waiting for a reply...even worse that was at midday XD
Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yesssssss, runs in the family Playing with hair is like...catnip to us XD
Did anyone ever randomly come up to you and start talking? Yes actually XD
Would you ever want to swim with the sharks? Yes! I want to swim with sharks! I wanna! I just..hope there are no fishies close by. I like petting sharks. They feel nice. :3
Did you speak to your father today? Yeah, everyday...my dad lives here too yo.
Do you want to see someone this very minute? Of course I do, haven't I made this obvious by now?
Are you the type of person who is often in off and on relationships? Nope. I stick through thick and thin.
What do you like better: hot chocolate or apple cider? Hot chocolate! Mmmmhhh~ Sends you to the bathroom a ton though XD
Ever stayed up all night on the phone? Uhhh, no? Computer, yes. XD
Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward? Yes, very much so...thus people like to do things to see my reaction Q-Q
Recently kissed anyone with the name starting with a C? What the hell kind of question is this?
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yes, but not many chances but a second...sure.
Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend? Not really, depends on what you mean by 'like' and notice how I didn't change it to 'boyfriend' <.< >.>;
Who did you last hug? Uhhh, internetz people!
Have you ever dated the same person twice? Huh? That's not possible since if you were to get back together with someone you were with before...then it is like a continuation. Anyway, the answer is no XD
How many pills do you take a day? One iron supplement pill.
Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past three months? Yeah, probably daily. I am just like, eh, who needs pants when fresh out of the shower..or a shirt? XD
Have you held hands with anyone in the past 36 hours? Hmmmm? Does family count?
What are you most anxious/excited for? Anxious for upcoming finals and other things....I am excited for my sis to have her baby which can come any day at this point.
Do you believe in true love? Yes~ :3
Do you want kids? Yes, I do. I loves kiddies. I will be a househusband! Woot! Stay home, take care of kids XD
Anyone ever tell you that you have pretty eyes? Yes. *bats eyes*
What did you do today? I don't want to explain my day, it is too complex and I am too tired @.@
Met anyone new this year? Yeah.
Is the room you are in right now clean or a mess? Clean and messy. My room is both XD
How are you feeling right now? Like I am about to pass out unconscious.
Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? Yeah.
Let me guess, you kissed someone yesterday? Not physically, no.
Do you say sorry first? Depends, most of the time I do.
Think of the last time you were really angry when was it? Angry? Is this an emotion? I don't remember, I get upset..but not really angry. XD
What color shirt are you wearing? Black with cool designs (I think this is why people think I am emo)
What are you wearing on your feet? Socks.
How many times do you talk on the phone a day on average? 0.00002
Any plans for the coming weekend? None at all.
When did you last eat chinese food? Uhhhm, a few months ago. I mainly eat Japanese if I eat Asian food.
Do you tend to have good dreams or nightmares? Good dreams
Which is better: Cold or hot weather? Cold. Something about the way that it bites and stings.
When was the last time you had butterflies in your stomach? Uhhm, last semester when I gave my final speech in Public Speaking XD
Have you ever written poetry? Hmmm, I don't know. Look at my gallery and check for me.
Are you the type of person who always needs to be in a relationship? No, I am generally passive. I wait for things to fall into my lap mostly XD
Are you generally a happy person or a depressed person? A little bit of both *twitches*
Do you think everyone is beautiful? No...I have seen things that prove otherwise...no. XD
What is the nearest purple thing to you? My Purple shirt! I love Purple!
Are you an argumentative person? Occasionally.
Was the last time your heart pounded like crazy for a good or bad reason? Good
Is photography something you enjoy? Eh, actually sort of XD
What's worse, knowing you still love him/her or acting like you hate him/her? What? Uhhh, I can't really answer XD
What's one of your locked text messages? Don't have any of those, I didn't even know you could lock them. Actually my phone is locked itself so...yeah. I have a notepad app on my phone and I do have one locked thing there and that is something I wrote when I was extremely depressed. I keep it locked away from the world.
Where is the one boy/girl you want to see the most right now? At home in Germany~
Do you want to get your tongue pierced?
Have you had your first kiss in 2012? Yes and no. XD
Will you be in a relationship in 4 months? Yes, I'm wayy past that puny little number.
If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? NO! I am scared of ghosts...terrified...
Is it possible to be single and happy? Yes.
When was the last time you were drunk/high? Never
What is your opinion on no sex before marriage? I believe that you shouldn't have sex unless you absolutely love that person, but that doesn't mean I think that you HAVE to be married exactly.
If you could change your eye color, would you? No I wouldn't.
Do you sleep with the door open or closed? Closed. Otherwise, I think I am being watched and preyed upon by monsters.
Your ex says they never even liked you, you say? Ok.
Are there certain things that can't be joked about with you? Yeah >.>;
Would you date someone taller than you? I don't care?
Have you talked to a complete asshole today? Actually, I have XD I have a friend that is a certified asshole. He drank some of my water XD
What do you want right now that you can't have? I think that's obvious ...and wasn't this asked before?!
Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? Yes, eternity!
Anything you're giving up on? Maybe college.
Is there someone you used to talk to every single day that you don't talk to at all? Mhm. Well not at all, but every once in a while I get to talk to some of my friends.
Morning or night person? I am a proud and loyal servant to the Nightingales. Protectors of the Twilight Sepulcher and servants to the goddess Nocturnal.
Left or right handed? Lefty
Do you wear shoes in your house or take them off? Both.
Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone? Nope.
Do you believe that there's good in everybody? No. Some are ebil!
Is there someone in your life you wish you never met? Yeah, quite a number. But without them, I wouldn't be who I am today.
Are you afraid of falling in love? No, I am in love, silly quiz XD
Did you ever kiss someone with a tattoo? No?
How many hours of sleep do you need to function? It seriously depends on many factors, motivation being a main one. Generally...3-6
Will this week be a good one?
Do you have a bad temper? Not really. Ange does >.>;
Look at your inbox in your phone, who are all the people you have texts from today? One! My friend texts me after he gets out of class XD
What are you listening to right now? "Take it all Away" by Red
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? I barely ever talk on the phone...I can't remember the last time exactly, but then again my memory is terrible.
Are you happy right now? Happy as can be, albeit stressed.
Is your phone right beside you? In front.
First thing you do when you wake up? Check to see if...Ange is online if I have time
Last movie you watched? I don't remember the exact last one, but I do remember watching "The one that Flew over the Cuckoos Nest" or something with a title like that about some people in an insane asylum...a very good movie, all time classic.
Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep? Waiting until I feel like I am dead, then pass out from exhaustion. How fun!
Can you speak any other language than English? German and a wee bit of many other languages.
Do you believe what comes around goes around? Yeah. You will get what you deserve sooner or later in your life in some way, shape, or form.
What's your favorite number? 3 too!
To whom did you last give the finger? Depending on which finger...Ange <.< >.>;
Where did you last wear sunglasses? Sunglasses? What sort of witchcraft is this?! (Actually as someone that wears glasses and has bad vision, I generally can't wear sunglasses...well I can if I am wearing my contacts but I rarely wear them and I don't even own a pair of sunglasses anyway) XD
What animal did you last pet or hold? A baby chick and they are soooo cute...is it weird that my brother has chickens?
What's the last newspaper you read or skimmed? I skim one about a few times a week.
Who was the last person to make you really laugh? I am too tired to remember properly, probably Ange.
Is anything bugging you right now? School. @.@
What are you doing after this? Same thing I do while doing this XD
Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow? Maybe depending on when I sleep.
Who is your last facebook inbox from? Mary. And the message reads: ">.>" XD
What does your hair look like right now? Like a tornado went through it lol
When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? >.>;
Is there someone that makes you happy every time you speak with them? Mhm. Beyond happy.
Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? Yeah, most of my friends happen to be girls. I better identify with them and they are tons more fun XD
Last time you had a coca-cola? Like..maybe...a year ago or so?
Do you straighten your hair? No. I am au natural.
How many pairs of shoes do you own? 4-5.
Name someone who's jealous of you? I don't know. I can't read minds...or can I? Plus, there is a difference between jealously and envy.
Name something you want? Uhhh, can't think of anything in particular...oh a bow. I would like a bow. A recurve bow.
How long do you have until your birthday? 2 months.
Have you ever shouted at random people from inside a moving car? Yes actually. Reminds me of drive-by high fives XD
Who are you expecting a phone call tonight from? Debt collectors with the wrong number XD
Will tomorrow be better than today? Who knows. It probably will if I get some sleep @.@
Believe in love at first sight? Not really. Love is something that takes time to develop and grow strong.
Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? Much worse, and I am not even talking bf/gf wise XD
How long does it take you to fall asleep? Depends on how close my body is to automatic shutdown.
Have you ever fallen asleep waiting for a text? Actually, I have. I was texting with my friend something important...and I just fell asleep while waiting for a reply...even worse that was at midday XD
Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yesssssss, runs in the family Playing with hair is like...catnip to us XD
Did anyone ever randomly come up to you and start talking? Yes actually XD
Would you ever want to swim with the sharks? Yes! I want to swim with sharks! I wanna! I just..hope there are no fishies close by. I like petting sharks. They feel nice. :3
Did you speak to your father today? Yeah, everyday...my dad lives here too yo.
Do you want to see someone this very minute? Of course I do, haven't I made this obvious by now?
Are you the type of person who is often in off and on relationships? Nope. I stick through thick and thin.
What do you like better: hot chocolate or apple cider? Hot chocolate! Mmmmhhh~ Sends you to the bathroom a ton though XD
Ever stayed up all night on the phone? Uhhh, no? Computer, yes. XD
Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward? Yes, very much so...thus people like to do things to see my reaction Q-Q
Recently kissed anyone with the name starting with a C? What the hell kind of question is this?
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yes, but not many chances but a second...sure.
Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend? Not really, depends on what you mean by 'like' and notice how I didn't change it to 'boyfriend' <.< >.>;
Who did you last hug? Uhhh, internetz people!
Have you ever dated the same person twice? Huh? That's not possible since if you were to get back together with someone you were with before...then it is like a continuation. Anyway, the answer is no XD
How many pills do you take a day? One iron supplement pill.
Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past three months? Yeah, probably daily. I am just like, eh, who needs pants when fresh out of the shower..or a shirt? XD
Have you held hands with anyone in the past 36 hours? Hmmmm? Does family count?
What are you most anxious/excited for? Anxious for upcoming finals and other things....I am excited for my sis to have her baby which can come any day at this point.
Do you believe in true love? Yes~ :3
Do you want kids? Yes, I do. I loves kiddies. I will be a househusband! Woot! Stay home, take care of kids XD
Anyone ever tell you that you have pretty eyes? Yes. *bats eyes*
What did you do today? I don't want to explain my day, it is too complex and I am too tired @.@
Met anyone new this year? Yeah.
Is the room you are in right now clean or a mess? Clean and messy. My room is both XD
How are you feeling right now? Like I am about to pass out unconscious.
Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? Yeah.
Let me guess, you kissed someone yesterday? Not physically, no.
Do you say sorry first? Depends, most of the time I do.
Think of the last time you were really angry when was it? Angry? Is this an emotion? I don't remember, I get upset..but not really angry. XD
What color shirt are you wearing? Black with cool designs (I think this is why people think I am emo)
What are you wearing on your feet? Socks.
How many times do you talk on the phone a day on average? 0.00002
Any plans for the coming weekend? None at all.
When did you last eat chinese food? Uhhhm, a few months ago. I mainly eat Japanese if I eat Asian food.
Do you tend to have good dreams or nightmares? Good dreams
Which is better: Cold or hot weather? Cold. Something about the way that it bites and stings.
When was the last time you had butterflies in your stomach? Uhhm, last semester when I gave my final speech in Public Speaking XD
Have you ever written poetry? Hmmm, I don't know. Look at my gallery and check for me.
Are you the type of person who always needs to be in a relationship? No, I am generally passive. I wait for things to fall into my lap mostly XD
Are you generally a happy person or a depressed person? A little bit of both *twitches*
Do you think everyone is beautiful? No...I have seen things that prove otherwise...no. XD
What is the nearest purple thing to you? My Purple shirt! I love Purple!
Are you an argumentative person? Occasionally.
Was the last time your heart pounded like crazy for a good or bad reason? Good
Is photography something you enjoy? Eh, actually sort of XD
What's worse, knowing you still love him/her or acting like you hate him/her? What? Uhhh, I can't really answer XD
What's one of your locked text messages? Don't have any of those, I didn't even know you could lock them. Actually my phone is locked itself so...yeah. I have a notepad app on my phone and I do have one locked thing there and that is something I wrote when I was extremely depressed. I keep it locked away from the world.
Where is the one boy/girl you want to see the most right now? At home in Germany~
Do you want to get your tongue pierced?
Have you had your first kiss in 2012? Yes and no. XD
Will you be in a relationship in 4 months? Yes, I'm wayy past that puny little number.
If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? NO! I am scared of ghosts...terrified...
Is it possible to be single and happy? Yes.
When was the last time you were drunk/high? Never
What is your opinion on no sex before marriage? I believe that you shouldn't have sex unless you absolutely love that person, but that doesn't mean I think that you HAVE to be married exactly.
If you could change your eye color, would you? No I wouldn't.
Do you sleep with the door open or closed? Closed. Otherwise, I think I am being watched and preyed upon by monsters.
Your ex says they never even liked you, you say? Ok.
Are there certain things that can't be joked about with you? Yeah >.>;
Would you date someone taller than you? I don't care?
Have you talked to a complete asshole today? Actually, I have XD I have a friend that is a certified asshole. He drank some of my water XD
What do you want right now that you can't have? I think that's obvious ...and wasn't this asked before?!
Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? Yes, eternity!
Anything you're giving up on? Maybe college.
Is there someone you used to talk to every single day that you don't talk to at all? Mhm. Well not at all, but every once in a while I get to talk to some of my friends.
Morning or night person? I am a proud and loyal servant to the Nightingales. Protectors of the Twilight Sepulcher and servants to the goddess Nocturnal.
Left or right handed? Lefty
Do you wear shoes in your house or take them off? Both.
Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone? Nope.
Do you believe that there's good in everybody? No. Some are ebil!
Is there someone in your life you wish you never met? Yeah, quite a number. But without them, I wouldn't be who I am today.
Are you afraid of falling in love? No, I am in love, silly quiz XD
Did you ever kiss someone with a tattoo? No?
How many hours of sleep do you need to function? It seriously depends on many factors, motivation being a main one. Generally...3-6
Will this week be a good one?
Do you have a bad temper? Not really. Ange does >.>;
Look at your inbox in your phone, who are all the people you have texts from today? One! My friend texts me after he gets out of class XD